WTF???????

Jezus tap dancing allah, I go to dry out for a friggin month, and ALL HELL HAS BROKEN LOOSE AT HOSPITAL WORLD!!!??!!!! Where the fuck is everybody? Theres tons of chicken bones laying around, rat skeletons, and I found something I thought was the body of the Unacrapper up in the crawlspace, only to find that it was a moldy glob of guacamole that buckethead apparently left before vacating the building. Not to get anybody's dander up, but what are BATF agents doing wandering around the building??????

Sharky

M E M O R A N D U M

TO: Jane, CEO and BucketheadCFO

FROM: Captain Sharky

RE: PTO Request

My apologies, but I need to take some time off. My dog died. No, wait, I have jury duty.

......No, actually, I need some time find myself. Wait, thats my line for my girlfriend tonight.

I just need some time off.

-Captain Sharky

MISSING!!

All Employees:

Please be on the lookout for Estella Guadalajara Santa Maria Sanchez-Fuentes Washington. Ms Guadalajara Santa Maria Sancheaz-Fuentes Washington was last seen on Friday, August 31st outside the Hospital, where she had been protesting Jane, CEO over the past week.

Ms. Guadalajara Santa Maria Sanchez-Fuentes Washington was last seen wearing a white tank top, sunglasses, wheelchair gloves, shorts and tennis shoes. The photo below is the last known photo, taken just hours before her disappearance. Several signs were found next to her empty wheelchair.

Of particular significance is this item that was found amongst several taco wrappers and empty Fanta cans.

If you have seen this employee, please notify Human Resources or the Hospital World Security Department immediately.

Attention Employees

All Staff: Please note the newest Corporate Policy as dictated by Jane Smith, CEO. Your immediate implementation of this new policy will probably circumvent broken appendages.

-Captain Sharky

My new favorite band is SPOON

Hey Redneck, How goes the crotch rash?

Just wondering . . .

Buckethead